WEDDING DRESS READY
I loved this day over 7 years ago– but it was a bookend to 6 hard months before.
I had wanted to be skinny for so long & finally had a big enough goal to buckle down. I worked out with a trainer & e-mailed him everything I ate. I also kept a journal of my own to log everything I was eating. I’d look over it at the end of the day, & if I had eaten too much or had splurged, I was a wreck. When I stress ate, I’d go through a block of fat free cheese, made of more chemicals than dairy.
People at work commented on me looking thin…I don’t know if they were meaning it as a compliment or not, but I definitely took their comments that way, & it just fueled me to work harder. It wasn’t something I talked about– it was its own little compartmentalized part of my life– but it overshadowed everything.
I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t love to be this size again– but I can 100% say that I would never ever want to get there like I did the first time. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. I know I’m not the only one who has to remind herself to treat her body well– to honor her health instead of treating it like trash. You are so much more than your body, but your body can serve as a great tool for your life. Nourish her. Move her. Love her. Your body needs you to take care of her so you can live your best life.