DREAMS & GOALS (become your days–becomes your life)
I’ve mentioned the new year being a favorite time for me. Being an Enneagram 3, the achiever*, I thrive with society taking a collective time period to reflect & plan new goals for the fresh, wide open year. I take all the dreams that have been swirling around in my brain & put them down on paper, declaring this to be the year of finally walking our beloved dog more than four times a year.
*Enter eye roll if you don’t know your number on the enneagram, yet.
I write out big dreams & small dreams & then look to see how I can make them into goals. What’s the difference between a dream & a goal? A dream is wanting to be a New York Times bestselling author. The goal is to read & write every single day. A dream is to be confident in my body. A goal is to eat more vegetables & move my body. The more specific I make my goals, the better I can visualize them & put them into practice– & the closer I feel to my dream.
But like all things, where you find a strength, you can find a weakness. Dreaming big & working hard & having big expectations are all great– but when not handled in a healthy way, pressure builds, negativity takes over, & it’s easy to become narcissistic. This is why people who are 3’s don’t always like being 3’s. We may be able to get stuff done, but we are not always the darling dandelions of the enneagram spectrum (unless we’re receiving affirmation & then we TOTALLY ARE). Ugh, gross.
After all the awesome goals are made, it’s vital to remember three things: Your goals are not etched in stone. Your goals do not make you more or less valuable. It is not narcissistic to focus on care & growth for yourself (actually the opposite). It is narcissistic when creating goals leads you to only ever think about yourself. Ouch. Yikes. Shoot.
Life happens. Seasons change. An eternal goal should be to remain flexible with a heavy side of love for yourself. Also, you were created with the greatest worth. Your accomplishments may claim attention, but they do not add to your worth. Your mistakes may set you back a step or three, but they do not subtract your worth. Don’t focus so hard on being perfect that you forget the purpose. Your goals become your day, & your days become your life. So if you get confused & think your purpose is to be perfect, your days become defeat, & your life feels like a failure. There has never been a bigger lie.
Have you seen The Greatest Showman? If you haven’t, is it because you’ve been hanging out with Ryan Gosling on the moon? Because that’s the only reason I can conjure. It’s one of my favorite films/soundtracks ever, & my feelings for Hugh Jackman are slightly stronger than a schoolgirl crush & slightly healthier than a straight up stalker. The kids & I dance to the music all the time, but they had never seen the movie, so I put it on the other night. The couch became our stage (I wonder why the springs are broken?) & we are basically one step away from being the VonTrapp family singers. There’s a scene towards the beginning when an obvious outsider hands young Barnum an apple on the street. And you guys, I lost it. There were audible sobs (kids never noticed because they were having the time of their lives on the couch stage), & I thought, This is it. This is what we were all created to be & what we all crave in the same moment. We are created to be givers– to see the needs in front of us & love with what we already have in our own hands. And we crave to be seen– for who we are & who we are meant to become. This is it.
My word of the year is Joy. I believe when we feel Joy, we are confident in who we are & our purpose on this planet. When we have Joy, we are capable to be givers, & when we have Joy, we know our hearts are seen.
I wrote down six categories to create goals for: Personal, Professional, Marriage, Kids, Home, Travel
First, I thought about my dreams for each category. Then I wrote out specific goals to make those dreams a reality.
Under Kids, I wrote that I want to spend more one on one time with them.
There’s the dream.
So I brainstormed realistic times I think I can make that happen & how we can use our time together.
There’s the goal.
Simple. Flexible. Joy. Repeat.