This is a simple story, but it’s one that’s repeated itself over & over again with little variation. Blake goes to work. I stay home with the kids. Ten hours pass. Blake comes home tired & can give a summary of his day by meetings attended & problems solved. I am also tired but unlike my husband, I have little recollection of where our day went. Did everyone even make it out of their pajamas? It’s a toss up. And then I’m like, Oh yeahhhh. I changed diapers & made meals & cleaned up after meals & made snacks because everyone is on the verge of starvation & cleaned up the toys, which you would never know because they’re out again, & changed more diapers. We had big fun, too with our dance parties & snuggles & chasing each other around the house—but a lot of the day was sucked up with the stuff nobody will ever see or thank you for doing.

And it kills me time and time again as I whisper to myself all of those mundane things have zero value because I know the truth– I know loving your children has value– the greatest value– & I am so grateful to be my babies’ mama– but if you’re like me, you see value when you see productivity. And let’s be real for a second– if you want to slow down your productivity at home, have lots of cute babies.

We struggle with the idea of knowing who we are until someone else weighs in with their own opinion, whether positive or negative, true or false. We let outside opinions tell us who we are based on what they see us doing.

It’s why this story kept repeating itself in my life. Before kids when I had a paying job, I relished in letting colleagues tell me who I was by how my performance was going. When I started staying at home & all of those voices went away, I didn’t know my value anymore. It wasn’t that my day had less meaning than before I had kids—if anything, it had multiplied exponentially—it was because nobody was telling me my day was of value so I wasn’t sure I was of value. And let me clarify—I do have an amazing husband who affirms me to no end. But you get to the point where another person’s affirmation stops fixing you & it’s time for you to learn to value yourself.

If you believe in Jesus, that means the Holy Spirit resides within you. That’s not just a fluffy, feel-good, churchy thing we say. The actual eternal, almighty power of God lives inside YOU. The same God who created every flower that blooms across planet Earth is the same God who designed YOU, & he designed you for greatness. The spirit of God is a constant flow of Peace & Joy & Worth in your life— & you think you need a person to acclaim how well you cleaned the house to feel good enough?

We were not created to wash dishes & change sheets. Those things happen because they’re a byproduct of loving the people in our lives, but we don’t place our value in them. When we do, it’s no wonder we feel a void. We place our value in what we were created for: LOVE. It starts with receiving because we can’t give love until then. God is full of the unconditional stuff, & he loves giving it out. Then it’s our turn, & the more we receive, the more we’re equipped to give.

New story. Blake leaves for work. I stay home with the kids. Ten hours pass. Blake comes home tired & can give a summary of his day by meetings attended & problems solved. I am tired, too, but instead of waiting for affirmation so I can feel five minutes of worth for my day, I’m already full because I know whose I am & who I am. I am a carefully crafted daughter of God, & he created me with drive & purpose. The people in my life help me grow, but they do not make me whole because I already am.

You don’t need an important job or perfect kids or a day without mundane tasks to feel like you’re of value. You need to know you are enough—right now—as you are because you were created by Perfection, & that craving you feel to matter in this world is your soul telling you to go Love somebody.


  1. Laurie Humphries on September 17, 2018 at 1:37 pm

    Love this!

    • Jenna Winegeart on September 19, 2018 at 4:02 pm

      thank you!!

  2. Ellen Winegeart on September 17, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    Jenna, thank you for the reminder. I just told Glen to stop asking what I do everyday. Because sometimes I feel like I’ve wasted a day because I used to fill my days with people but some days are not filled with people because I’m not doing a paid church ministry. But my days are made up of what the Holy Spirit gives me to do. Sometimes that’s people but other times it’s spending time with him or running errands for others or working out so I can be healthy. All these things are important. Thank you for the reminder. The most important thing is we are doing what God has planned for us and loving people in the process. Love you!

    • Jenna Winegeart on September 19, 2018 at 4:03 pm

      I love this. Love you!

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