Mother's Day thoughts…
Mother’s Day has always been a thing, but this is the first year things are feeling REAL. I was technically a mom last year, but I had barely wrapped up the first week of being home with my girl, & I had a whopping round of mastitis to deal with—so it’s just a day I’d rather not think about—one of the few over the past 365+.
I had decided this year would be our do-over for Mother’s Day—we would just pretend it was our first but even better because Collins is older, & I just can’t get over her fun personality. Our plans are quickly changing, though, because a certain one year old came down with a fever & just can’t seem to shake it off (no matter how many times we sing her the song). Thinking through what our day might realistically look like tomorrow, my image of Mother’s Day began to shift as it began to look more and more like a normal day in my mind. It made me start to think about what I’d like to get out of Mother’s Day….is it about being given special treatment for being a mom, or is it about celebrating the gift of being a mom, whatever that may look like? Over the past year (plus a week or so), the idea continuously showing up in my mind is that to find joy, you must be thankful. If you don’t feel joy in your heart, there is a lack of thanks. I know it may seem like a black and white statement that may seem harsh in some circumstances. As far as being a mom though….this statement is gold. It has saved me from many moments of self-pity and negativity. It reminds me that there is nearly ALWAYS something to voice thanks over regarding my daughter (& husband).
This is what I want to make Mother’s Day—a day devoted to finding joy through giving thanks. It’s like Thanksgiving that’s narrowed down to being a mom. Oh, could we do that? I would be all about some May turkey & dressing.
Bottom line for me: If my baby is still sick in the morning, I get to be the one to soothe her. I will take her for a walk around the block when she cries and try to get her to drink plenty of fluids. And thankfully, I get to do those things with my husband tomorrow. We will love our girl together, and that will be the perfect Mother’s Day for me.
However, as I mentioned that Mother’s Day got REAL this year, it didn’t just make me see this day from my perspective, but it showed me how hard this day is for many. Children (young or grown) who lost their mothers…many of them far too early. Mothers and children who don’t have good relationships with each other, despite their efforts and prayers. Women who desperately want to be mothers but aren’t…or maybe they were mothers but their baby was taken far too soon. There are so many examples of brokenness and disappointment in this area of life, and the day approaching brings far more pain than joy. I hope we all have our people close by to talk to and grieve with. This kind of hurt should not live in isolation, or it will claim more of our hearts than it should.
First of all, can I make a bold statement? Being a mom doesn’t make you any more of a woman or increase your identity in any way. God didn’t create you as a half-person only to be completed when you become a mom. You are a full person with a full identity right now.
Also, if this is a hard day for you, I’m sorry. I really am. I hope you can lean into your people. I hope you feel loved. I hope you find your identity in Jesus. Whether you are celebrating, grieving or just feeling fairly neutral, I hope you know you are needed and never forgotten.